omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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