Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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