My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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