Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
