Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
