Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
