I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
