No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
