I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
