I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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