You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
