in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
