am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
