my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
