I want to make a zoo with you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
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