yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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