the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
