is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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