i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
