Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
