dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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