How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Apparently you make a good broom.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
