distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
