in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i dont even know how to be here
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
