he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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