i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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