Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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