using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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