You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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