none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
