Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
