okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
