p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
