she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize