A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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