i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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