I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
