therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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