I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
