ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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