i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
