last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
