Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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