she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
