just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
