If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
