Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
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I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize