so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
