There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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