yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
