my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
