i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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