There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Randomize
