Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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