That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
