sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
