Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
