all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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