Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
