all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
