His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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