I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
