I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You're a waste of cheezeits
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
